Mayhem and Foolishness

I've come across several blogs and rants across the InterWebz about the subject of guest giving. Apparently several Prima Dona brides and couples are of the opinion that their wedding guests should give, and give enough to cover the cost of their own plates. These same ranters and bloggers seem to feel that weddings today are incredibly overdone. Some go so far as to suggest that wedding debacles (such as busted budgets) should always be solved by eloping.
On the flip side, I've heard crazy Bridal Divas ranting about how their day MUST BE PERFECT and their guests' children are most certainly NOT INVITED - children would just ruin the perfect day! Their slimy, piggish little fingers would certainly smear the expensive catering all over the expensive rented linens and they would crayola their way to hell (or at least the wedded couple's bad graces) on the $90 matte signature frame.
I don't know any crazy brides that won't allow their guests to bring their children because it will spoil their perfect day, nor do I know any engaged couples that are counting on their guests' generosity to fund the blessed event. I am planning my own wedding right now, however, which will be in July. I do have mixed feelings about guest giving, but I am resolute on the issue of guests under 18.
I, too, agree that weddings are overdone. The price of a new car or small fixer-upper house for one whirlwind day? Puh-leeze! And don't get me started on the tired reception DJ act & standard wedding earworms (electric slide, YMCA...). I used to be so terribly bored at my friends' weddings. I could only interact with them for a fleeting moment and all the rest of the night I watched everyone else having fun (I dont dance - except for in the comfort of my own home - and that's ALWAYS THE ONLY THING TO DO). The idea that I would be required to give a gift enough to pay for my right to be present at my friends' event is just ridiculous. In addition, all of my friends' weddings were paid for by their parents.
Nevertheless, I am in a very different position. Mario and I are almost completely paying for our entire wedding. When I say "almost" I mean that our parents have given us small (when compared to the entire budget) gestures of support, but we are floating this boat with our biweekly paychecks. I can, therefore, understand the urge to compel guests to give the Couple of Honor something. It isn't easy paying for a decent wedding and reception for 100 guests when your annual income for your family of 3 is 127% the FPL (127% may sound like a lot, but it's only 27% above the poverty level).
But we didn't go down that road. Unlike most of my friends who have gotten married since I entered college, we didn't register at a (or several) department store. We did not slip the registry info card into our invitations. We do not expect to receive any gifts (monetary or tactile) before or at our reception. And our budget has expanded, although our resources haven't. If anyone does give us a gift, we hope it is cash. We have many needs and cash is always welcome. We also have an apartment full of kitchen appliances and utensils and plateware (thanks to our mothers' bargain shopping skills & tireless generosity!), although strangely enough we own neither a toaster nor a blender. But we don't calculate the cost of our marital trappings by visualizing our guests' deep pockets. The majority - nay, the vast majority - of our guests are Out-Of-Towners. They will all have to pay for their flights and hotel rooms (although I did my damnest to find the lowest group rate at the best hotel I could find). Paying for the wedding has become a priority to both Mario and I. So much so that we have foregone the ideal honeymoon until we know we have money left over.
As for children at weddings: Brides who think children's presence will ruin or have ruined their weddings need to go pop one out (or get laid) and take their midol. Children aren't tiny adults. If you don't want children at your wedding, don't invite their caretakers. I've heard that some parental guests lawd the bride and groom with exclamations of "how wonderful to have a night out with no kids!" If your kids are such a drag on your lifestyle, I think adoption is in order (somebody else adopt your kids, not you adopt, Forest). Now, I'm also a parent, so I understand the desire to go out and have fun one-in-a-while without the fussy, drooling hip appendage. But weddings are (or should be) family affairs - a wedding is a celebration with your family and friends, and family knows no age limit. We don't have many younger family members, so few children will be at the wedding, but our son will be in the wedding party. He is, after all, the Best Baby.